What Do I Think About Suicide?

The act of suicide has just touched my life, so it is time for me to ponder what I think about taking one’s own life.

I remember Dick as a strong, tall young boy who was the same age as my eldest son. His parents were good friends, and I especially cherished the times that his mother and I got to curl up on the sofa to let our minds wonder expansively. Dick soon became Richard on Wall Street, where he learned and mastered the intricacies of the financial markets.

He married a very gifted surgeon and had, I believe, five children who went to fine schools in New York City. Then the bubble burst. Richard was out of a job and elective plastic surgery was harder for people to afford. The unique financial niche that Richard had mastered made finding another job difficult and ultimately impossible. Food became a comfort for the stress that was building in Richard.

Those are the only details that I know, living so far apart from Richard and his family. I can only imagine what might have been going on in his head: pain. So what do I think about the choice that he made? Well to honor all that I have written, my answer is, “It just is.” I have no judgment. I definitely have feelings!

My heart aches for my dear friend, his mother. I wish that I could wipe the tears, for his wife and children. I have not yet spoken to my children to hear what their hearts are saying. I feel a loneliness for the spark of joy that graced my life as Dick was growing up.

While thinking about this, during lucid dream state this morning, what came to me was that as sovereign beings we create and are responsible for our reality. Each experience that we have has been dreamed into existence, so that must mean our passing from this earthly plane as well.

So, if that is my truth, then I must be choosing subconsciously how and when I am to die. Is that so different from what Richard did? One difference I can see is that he chose consciously when and how he would leave us. Another difference is judgment, what we have been conditioned to think about suicide is radically different from what we think about death by natural causes.

As a fascinated observer, my term for living in the world but not of it, I have no judgment about the choice of suicide.

Let me share with you now my dream of the future. Should Richard choose to reincarnate, he will enter at a time of human evolution when 3D no longer supports duality thinking, and hopefully “right” and “wrong” has transformed into “all is well in all of creation.” Perhaps he will discover a softer, gentler world, which will nourish his heart and allow him to wake each morning with joy in the moment.

What do you think Richard? Have we written all that you and I wished to say? I think so.

P.S. Joan Ocean wrote in Dolphins & Whales Forever that dolphins can die at will by shutting down their blowholes.


  1. Susan Orr says

    He told you it is just a choice he made. No judgement. He may have missed out on further opportunities to learn and grow but that was his choice.

    • Indeed Susan.

    • Thank-you for this reply and Nina for this note.I have just come out of a dark place where I thought suicide was the only way out as I was so so so exhausted.I am now after 4 yrs Happy that I did not make this choice as i have grown so much and done my hardest learnings in this process.I am blessed with great friends and family and it is ever growing.Thank-you for the opportunity to share what I just shared.Tears are flowing.

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