He Was Coming Straight To Me

He turned around and started walking down the aisles between the weight machines and the treadmills. I could sense that he was coming straight to me. I was about nine minutes into my ten-minute treadmill walk, with the incline set at seven and the speed set at three. My heart rate was under 120 by choice, so I was on track with my weight- bearing exercise.

After my nurse practitioner had shared the results of my bone density test at the beginning of last year, I started going to the Anytime Gym in Santa Fe on a daily basis. For the first month, I worked with a trainer, who was very sensitive to my sedentary body. I had told her that my exercise program over the last three years had been close to non-existent, since I had been seated in front of a computer completing two books.

A diagnosis of osteopenea turned that routine around rapidly. When I was told that the bones in my spine were weak and that a broken spine was not a condition I would want to endure, I hot-footed it to the gym chosen by Humana’s Medicare Plan for their free, Silver Sneakers senior’s program. My daily schedule is to arrive about 7:00 in the morning and to vary the routine from the weight machines to the weight bearing machines every other day. Thirty minutes is enough I feel, as long as I am consistent.

“You seem to come here regularly.” He said. We had a very brief conversation as we had a few weeks ago, but this time he told me his name was Bob, and I shared that mine was Nina. Off he went.

So why is this worth writing about? Well, the answer might be that I will be seventy years old in June, and it has been perhaps ten years since a man has suggested he might want to spend time with me. Actually, that is not the reason I am writing. My 24/7- goal is to look at what I am thinking and feeling as the fascinated observer within the S.T.A.R. philosophy. Let me share what I mean.

Though Bob had only spoken a few sentences to me, it initiated a wild conversation inside my head. “What if….?” “How would…?” Would I….?” All of this then became fascinating to observe. How does the fascinated observer handle those pulsating questions? If I am in the now moment, do they even exist? I observed myself judging and analyzing what it was that I might expect if he…. or if he….. All too funny and especially with me being “of a certain age!”

So catching myself in a school-girl state of mind, I consciously switched into my new S.T.A.R. now state of being and took on the perspective of a fascinated observer. How about I just accept that “everything just is” and choose the next expression of this new experience? How would that feel? What would that look like? How about I remove any judgement about: amount of hair, height, facial structure, body mass, position in society and just flow with what shows up. When what shows up, shows up, I can then make a

choice based on the moment. Do I choose to continue this experience or move on to a new one? Fascinating, that sounded like a plan.

Well, what showed up was that I began to feel apprehensive as I entered the gym each morning wondering if Bob would be there, if he would approach me and what I would choose to do. Then… where did he go? Curious, what schedule was he now keeping that we weren’t bumping into each other? You know, I think I have the answer. I know that as a sovereign being I create and am responsible for my reality. I bet I created his absence! Could that be? Too funny!

The experience that I had and may continue to have (who knows) has been such fun because I have been given an opportunity to explore the S.T.A.R. Philosophy in a totally new way. It has given me an occasion to observe myself and the automatic conditioning of my mind. It is all perfect, and I have decided that if I am asked to have coffee, I will accept. It will be a wonderful opportunity to meet another sovereign being, who has chosen to express on the planet as Bob, who likes to work out.

I wonder if Bob is on Facebook and will see this blog, such fun!

Comments

  1. Loved it!!!! Just love it!!!
    I am almost 63 (in a couple of weeks) and I got into this strange wild affair with a young man (49). You know what I look like Nina (always a bit heavy-and so what).
    It’s been 10 months of on and of and I understood that I had a FASCINATING mirror sent to me. One that made me love my body as it is and face all the pain that was still in me regarding my relationships with men. He got me so mad at times and I COULD express it. And I kept sending him away and he kept coming back. He looks like an Egyptian prince. I’ve never seen such a beautiful body (that close to me anyway) at an age when I though that I would only attract older man. My ego loved it!!!! But mysterious as can be. Know nothing about his life and what he did tell I took it with a grain of salt. Yesterday he came to help me pack. He did a good job and it’s all done, but I got to see his controlling side. UPS. Everything must be his way. Fascinating. I now I decide!!! To let go, all is new, all is open and I can still attract the other “side” that I have been ignoring for so long. Hope this is not too long. Love you.

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